Skinwalker

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Most people who encounter a skinwalker don’t survive to talk about it. As for the people who do - well, perhaps they aren’t brave enough to come forward with their stories. People like me. You see, it takes a deeper kind of fortitude than most people have in order to recount what's happened. It's as though there’s a very unwelcome connection forged between you and the beast, and even speaking its name draws the creature closer to you.  

And strictly speaking for myself, maybe there’s a little shame in it, too, that makes me reluctant to tell the tale. Because the part I played in this encounter wasn’t all that innocent. In truth, I went searching for the creature on my own accord. And you can bet it was willing to be found. 

They say it’s near impossible to kill a skinwalker. But I wasn’t planning on it. I was there to make a deal.

And what was I willing to give it? As I sit here, having some distance between myself and the ordeal, I realize the stupidity of that question, and how pitifully unprepared I was. Clearly, I survived - otherwise I wouldn’t be sharing my account for what happened. But sometimes I wish I hadn’t. And sometimes I’m not even sure I actually had survived. I live - I go to work, I bring mac-n-cheese to the family barbeque, smile at weddings. I do all of those things, but only as a ghost of who I once was, a twisting and groaning grief forever in my bones.  

In order to properly tell you the story I guess I have to start at the beginning. I was a twenty-two-year-old woman when my aunt gifted me a nine-bedroom barn house on a parcel of land just south of Delhi, Louisiana. I’d just graduated from the University of Texas, but with no prospect for a real jumpstart to a career I was, sadly enough, waiting tables for a living. I didn’t mind being in an in-between place, but a venture such as this was gladly welcomed. A city girl at heart, I had no clue how to properly care for land - I knew nothing about property taxes, mineral rights, or maintenance measures. But I was willing to learn. So I stuffed the three duffel bags I owned with anything that would fit, filled the gas tank in my Isuzu Rodeo, and headed for the countryside.  

Eight hours later, bustling roads started to give way to lush greenery. The brilliant October foliage was a dreamscape. My mind created dainty images of me painting a barn in a stylish pair of overalls and tending to a beautifully landscaped yard. This was all quickly quashed as I pulled onto the gravel path that led to the property. I could only explain what I saw as a quarter mile of neglect and depression. The barn house in the distance was barely recognizable as a structure. The entire thing was leaning at an impressively dangerous angle, and it looked like it was entirely covered in soot. Large splinters of wood stuck out in the opposite direction, possibly counterbalancing it. Its bricks were weatherworn at best and in some places, missing. This created an effect of a very unintentional sunroof right over what may have been the guest quarters.  

As soon as I could park, I whipped out my cell phone and dialed my aunt. “Come on, Tess,” I mumbled, drumming impatiently on the steering wheel. Her voice crackled on the other end.  

“Hey, darlin,’ you make it to the house yet?” 

“Yes, Tee Tee,” I said, trying to keep the frustration from my voice. I thought hard about what I'd say next. I wanted to reprimand her for giving me such a burdensome gift, but as she cawed and giggled I couldn't bring myself to do so. “The house isn't what I expected,” I said.  

She chortled. “Oh, it just needs some TLC.” Then she clucked her tongue. “I know it’s a big undertaking, but like I said – that property is yours to keep. And I know you young folks know how to flip a house and sell it. You got all those student loans to pay off. Let the land work for you.”      

  I pressed my lips together, my teeth gritted. “Yes, Tee Tee, but don’t you think Uncle Tony would be better suited for this kind of – ” 

Aunt Tess firmly interrupted. “Uncle Tony won’t go near the place.” Her voice was hard as a brick, but she quickly soothed it. “Now I won’t hear any more of this, child. You’re the right person for this land. It’s gonna bless you – that property values at just under a million dollars, you know. I need you to trust your Tee Tee.”  

“Yes ma’am,” I said, dubious that anyone would pay anywhere near a million dollars for this kind of shack.  

“Now I gotta get goin,'” Aunt Tess said, “But you let me know if you need anything, okay?” 

“I will,” I said. And before I could say anything else, she hung up the phone.  

I breathed a deep sigh, then stepped out of the car. I turned away from the decrepit dwelling and scanned the surrounding wood. It was still a very beautiful bit of land – twenty-six acres, to be exact. I admired the natural abundance for a while, but as the sun moved just below the trees I began to get nervous. A chill arrested me, making me uncomfortably aware that I was alone. I would have to go inside.

Thankfully, despite the unreasonable condition of the house, I was able to make a cozy, and mostly secure, enclosure along one of the wings. I secured all the outward facing doors, unpacked my comforter and, without showering – or even undressing, for that matter – I rolled myself up and fell asleep on a very ornate and dusty bed in one of the guest rooms. I shut my eyes against the whistling of the wind, the creaking of the house and, in the distance, the snarling of wild dogs perhaps fighting over a caught rabbit. Eventually, sleep took me.

The next morning came with the sound of tires roaring through the gravel in the driveway. I straightened out my flannel and hiked my jeans up, fumbling my way downstairs, craning my neck all the way to get a look out the window. When I got to the porch, I saw an officer getting out of a Dodge Durango.  

I swung the door open, confused. “Can I help you, sir?

He waved, a jovial smile stretched across his round face. “Mornin’,” he said. “I was just comin' in to make sure you, uh, made it through the night okay.”  

“I did,” I said, shaking his outstretched hand. I squinted at the name stitched into his uniform above his badge. “Thank you, uh...” 

“Officer Tatum,” he said, puffing his chest out.

“Thank you, Officer Tatum, but, how did you even know I was – ”  

“Your aunt let us know to come check in,” he said. His eyes, brown and young, carried a sense of nervousness that I've never seen on a city cop. Perhaps the country ones were timid. He examined a variety of snake plants potted along a nearby banister. “Frankly, I didn’t think anyone would be brave enough to take on these parts,” he said with a hollow chuckle.  

“Yeah, it’s a real fixer-upper,” I said. “But nothing beats free rent, am I right? And besides the coyotes – or whatever that was fighting in the woods last night – it was peaceful.” 

Officer Tatum glanced over his shoulder into the wooded area just to the east. He shuffled his feet, allowing the silence to grow a bit awkward. Then he spoke more urgently. 

“I wouldn’t be doin’ my duty if I didn’t tell you. There've been some… mutilations around these parts.” 

“What?” 

“Mutilations,” he repeated. “Not to scare a young lady like you, but you wanna be careful roaming out in them woods, you hear?”   

The hair on my arms prickled. “Like, human mutilations? Killings?” 

Officer Tatum nodded solemnly. “And animals, too… I don’t judge, especially when it comes to Tess cause she’d been through so much, but I’m surprised she didn’t tell you about it. I reckon she didn’t want you worryin’ about it.” 

“Well, this is some bullshit,” I said firmly at the man. He recoiled, smiling apologetically. I was hot. I’d already cancelled the lease on my apartment. “That’s a hell of a secret to keep, Tess,” I said. I cursed, stealing a glance into the house. The floral drapes in the living room window stared at me, haggard and torn.

“We’ve been on this particular case for years. But I can assure you, it only happens at night,” he said. “Just stay indoors and you’ll be okay.”   

“So, is it a person?" I asked. "An animal? A bear?” 

The officer swallowed, then licked his dry lips. “What's done is too complex for an animal,” he said. “Been monitoring for tresspassers, but haven't found any." Then he scoffed, rifling his brown curls with a hand. “Some of the superstitious folk around here say it’s the doin’ of some sort of shapeshifter; say they seen some animals around here doing some pretty strange stuff, like they been possessed.” 

I glared at the man. Hell no.  

“I do have to get goin’ to my morning rounds,” he said, giving me a polite nod.

“No, you don’t,” I said. I trailed close up behind him all the way to his car. “You’re gonna stay here while I pack my bags.”   

Officer Tatum patted my shoulder sympathetically. “It’s daylight,” he reassured me. “Nothing’ll happen to you now.” He removed my hand gently from the hood of his car. “I don’t wanna scare you off, now. Your aunt wouldn’t bring you here if she didn’t think you could handle yourself. She said you're gonna do some fixin' on the house so you can sell it. Just focus on that for now.” And with a last encouraging smile, he drove off.

And I did feel enouraged, in a way. To follow his lead and leave. I promptly grabbed my keys and purse, then drove myself into town. I parked on a very old-looking town square and walked aimlessly until I found a small diner. I sat for hours, long past the lunch rush. Until I had no choice but to make a decision. I would go home, tail tucked between my legs. Or I would do what aunt Tess so desperately keeps shoving down my throat and flip this damned house and make a million dollars. The drive was quick. And when I stepped out of the car, I spoke directly to the rickety structure. “You better not completely cave on me,“ I said. I pointed to the woods. "Keep whatever's out there away from me and I'll start looking for an investor first thing in the morning so you can get fixed up."

*******

It was hard enough to convince potential buyers to see the value of the land with the ugly barn house in the way, but on top of that, weird happenings started as soon as the house hit the market. With the promise of close to a million dollars, though, I was willing to be patient. But the next few weeks accelerated my need to be rid of the whole situation.  

On one occasion, a set of brothers complained about seeing little orbs of light in the guest room, but I didn’t see any such thing no matter how long I started into the room. I explained that maybe the hole in the roof was allowing the sun to reflect off the walls in a funky way, but that only made it more difficult to convince them that it was worth the investment.  

On another occasion, as I showed the house to an elderly woman and her three adult children, we heard screaming coming from one of the upstairs bedrooms. “It’s gotta be these old pipes,” I laughed, knocking on a wall. This made the screaming stop only for a moment, but then it continued.  

One after another, the investors were scared away from the property. I was getting a reputation in town for having a haunted house, and I had all but run out of potential buyers. Until a promising candidate flew in from California. This woman, by the name of Zayla, seemed to own about a dozen pieces of land in maybe that many different states. But since her schedule was so full, she wanted to view the house in the late evening. I absolutely didn’t want to do that. But I had a good feeling that Zayla had done her homework. She would take a quick look and throw her money at me.   

Since I wasn’t a fool, I was no longer staying on the property at night. Which meant I had to drive out and meet Zayla at her preferred time. I made my way up the driveway, saying a silent prayer. Thankfully she was already there. It looked like she’d been waiting for a while. I looked at the clock on my dashboard; I was only two minutes late.  

“Hi,” I said bashfully as I pulled my reluctant bones from my car. Zayla rushed over to shake my hand. The sun was quickly escaping us, casting an orange glow on her handsome face.  

“No time to waste,” she said with a bright smile. “Let’s see what you’ve got!” 

“Of course,” I said, glad to get it over with. I quickly drew my keys and let us in the front door. Then I turned the inside latch, pulling the handle to make sure we were locked in. “You can clearly see that this is an investment, but the foundation is in good condition,” I started. “Let’s look at the kitchen first.” 

As we moved about the house I spoke quickly and loudly, so as to drown out anything else that might be vying for Zayla’s attention. She didn’t seem to mind, asking clarifying questions as we went. Then we ended the tour back in the foyer. I was just about to let us out when something caught her attention.  

“Who’s that?” Zayla asked. I didn’t even bother turning around. My hands began to shake as I wrestled with the doorknob. Zayla suddenly made toward the hallway.  

“Don’t go down there,” I warned. But she continued toward the guestroom.  

“Someone’s in the house,” she said to me. Then she called out down the hall. “This is a closed viewing,” she said. “You’re trespassing.” We both whipped around the corner at the same time, looking into the empty hall that led to the guest room. “They must’ve gone in here,” she said, jiggling the handle on the door. 

“Don’t open that.” I panicked, pulling her hand from the doorknob even though I knew it was locked. “This room isn’t safe at night,” I explained. “It's another bedroom," I said. "But there’s a hole in the ceiling that… anything can come through.” 

Zayla squinted.

I grimaced. She knew I intentionally left the room off the tour.

"We should've started here when the sun was up then,” she said. Suddenly there was a loud bang on the inside of the door, making us both jump. The handle started to turn from the inside. She blinked several times, appearing to assess her own mental clarity. “I think I’ve seen my share,” she said, backtracking toward the front of the house.  

Without another word I let us out and, not even bothering to lock up, followed Zayla to the driveway. I knew I wouldn’t be getting the deal I’d hoped for today. “Thank you for stopping by,” I said in a quivering voice. She yelled something from her car but I didn’t stop to listen. Toward the rear of the house a raucous had already started up, and now I was certain it wasn’t coyotes fighting. I got in my own car and followed closely as Zayla hauled it down the gravel path.  

That was the night I should have cut my losses and went back home. But I was fixated on the money. I would’ve been set up for a very good life if I could just sell the property. I lay awake in my hotel room that night, doing what I always did when I ran into a problem I couldn’t solve: I googled it. Of course, all of the common ghost stories cropped up – none of which gave me insight as to how to stop the activity, at least long enough to sell the house. Then I remembered what Officer Tatum said - the locals blamed it on a shapeshifter of some sort.  

Hours into the night I got the answer I was looking for. It was what the Navajo called yee naaldlooshii, a cursed witch who can possess or transform into animals. If this thing was smart enough to scare away all of my potential buyers, then maybe it could be reasoned with. I would devise a plan to appeal to the creature, but in order to do that I would need more information.  

The following morning, I returned to the barn house and, without wasting any time, headed straight for the guest quarters. I would start my investigation there. But I had no clue what I was looking for. I let my hand rest on the doorknob and closed my eyes, trying to keep my breathing calm and even. I could hear a feint buzzing coming from inside the room. I knew that something was on the other side of the door, and maybe it knew I would come to it. I wanted to turn around and leave, but this was exactly what I came for – the chance to understand this creature. I unlocked the door and, as I pushed it open, a hoard of flies flooded the hall, bringing a horrible stench with them.  

I let out a clipped scream, swatting them from my face and neck. But a glance into the room silenced me. Something was in there; something dead. I took a cautious step in, covering my nose. My eyes watered as I examined the carcass of a full-grown deer. I glanced around, perplexed at how it could’ve gotten into the room. None of the windows were open or broken. I glanced up, looking at the hole in the ceiling. It hardly looked big enough for a deer to fit through. And anyway, that wasn’t the most concerning thing. Despite the animal being split straight down the middle, there was not a single drop of blood in the room. It had been completely drained before it was brought here.  

Having seen enough, I made for the driveway and got in my car. But something stopped me from leaving the premises. I left the car in park, rubbing my temples once again.

I wish I could look away from this moment forever. But not telling it would surely be worse than what I would soon encounter in those woods.

In that moment, I contrived an idea. The thing was mutilating animals. Why would it bother to bring one into the house, to me? Was it communicating something? Did it want more blood? I came here searching for answers, and maybe I had one. I would give it what it wanted. Appease it for long enough to sell the house.

******* 

That evening I returned to the house, equipped with a few gallons of cow’s blood that I purchased from the local butcher. He was kind enough to not ask what I needed it for, which I was grateful for because I wouldn’t have been able to come up with a good enough lie. The sun began to set, causing the treetops to burst into a lovely orange glow. I collected the containers out of the passenger seat, grabbed my cell phone and slipped a small knife in the side pocket of my jeans.   

I stationed myself at the edge of the treeline, just east of the barn house. Then I uncapped the containers, allowing the heavy copper stench to carry into the wind. I sucked in a rattling breath, then called out with a cracked voice.

“Yee naaldlooshii,” I whispered. After several minutes of silence, I squeezed one of the jars, hoping the scent would carry further into the woods. I called again, a little louder this time. “Yee naaldlooshii!” 

A sharp rustling started up in the woods. It appeared I’d annoyed it. Or piqued its curiosity. I waited several more minutes, swatting mosquitoes from my arms all the while. I pressed my hand to my pocket, making sure the blade was still there. After half an hour of this, though, I became impatient. I grabbed the containers up and made my way deeper into the woods, hoping desperately that the blood would be enough to satiate the beast.  

The longer I walked, the more firmly the tall, spindly grass clung to my jeans, as if trying to keep me from moving any further into the woods. Nature itself warned me against its dark secret. I approached a clearing and could hear excited rustling just ahead of me. I looked back. I could no longer see the barn house behind me. I decided this would be good enough, so I stopped and uncapped the containers of blood once more.

“Yee naaldlooshii,” I whispered. 

Without warning, a cold gust of wind whipped through the path, carrying my whispered words back to me, echoing in my ears. Nature was mocking me, or perhaps warning me back. The echo bounced along the trees, growing louder. It confused my senses, making my head hurt tremendously. I squeezed my hands to my ears, searching the woods. And though the wind was still whipping my hair all about, the trees remained calm and still.  A roaring scream brought fear to the pit of my stomach.  

In an awful moment of clarity, I realized that it wasn’t blood that the creature hungered for. I could’ve felt pity for the thing if the screaming of it wasn’t curdling my guts and making my skin crawl. It was anguished. What it wanted was something that was inside of me - something that couldn’t be so easily extracted. It sensed me, and it was calling to the thing inside of me.  I heard it scream again, and my body lurched, I could see in my mind’s eye so clearly what the thing was after.  

An otherworldy creature stepped into the clearing. A malformed dog of sorts, It limped along on four long, grotesque legs. Its disproportionately small body was covered in scars and dried blood. I forced myself to look braver than I was. I looked into its large, bulbous eyes. “I want to make a deal with you,” I said faintly.

It threw its head back nervously, or perhaps ashamed to be seen.  

I tried to take a step closer, but I stumbled on a branch. For a fraction of a second I was distracted.  And in that moment, the creature took hold of me. Somehow, he reached out with his mind and merged with my body. I was flooded with awful thoughts, so monstrous they made my body ache. I screamed a horrible, wretched scream.  

I rolled around desperately in the clearing, my body drunk with a new desire to do awful things. I wanted to run, to scream. I wanted to find the nearest animal in the woods and to kill it. I wanted to hurt someone. I held my breath, searching wildly around. The creature watched me, its glare penetrating my entirety. These weren’t my thoughts, I realized. It was the creature. The creature was taking over my body, and I didn’t know how to stop it. My spine burst into flames. I let another awful howl escape my mouth and it felt good. Then I began to run.  

I couldn’t help myself anymore. Hot blood was rushing through my body and propelling me forward. I could hear myself yelping and gurgling and snarling along the way. Then I caught a scent – it was a human; a little girl. I planted my feet and turned in her direction. My feet burned, they were moving too fast, beating into the earth in an unnatural way. I knew when I found the little girl, I would rip her throat out.

A small part of me protested this; a faint thought at the back of my mind. This isn’t right, it said. This is insane; it’s evil. My legs faltered, but only a bit. I fought to control my body, but at best, could only throw myself into a tree or two. That was enough to slow me down. I hobbled in the direction of the little girl, fighting my own body. The small voice in me grew, allowing me to focus. I forced myself to think, to put the small voice back in control of my body. What did it want? I thought. I clenched my eyes and breathed deeply, though my body was still moving too quickly through the woods. I thought about the very first sensation I felt, before I even laid eyes on the creature, and it came back to me.  

The thing it wanted was some sort of light – bright and warm and alive. In my mind’s eye I could see it again - a small, but potent, light that lived inside of me. But the creature didn’t just want to take the light. It had lost its own, and it envied mine. The creature wanted to destroy my light as well; make me suffer just as much as it had. I could sense the creature growing agitated. It was angry that I knew its secret. It tried even harder now to get me to the girl, moving my legs even faster through the woods now. I knew that by killing this child I would lose my light, but I didn’t care to join the creature. I had to do something. 

And I had to do it fast, because I could see her just ahead. She was playing alone in her backyard. She couldn’t have been more than eight or nine years old. I smelled her blood strongly now, as if it were already in my mouth. I tried to warn her away with a gnarled howl. She spotted me.  A shrill scream escaped her.

I fought myself all the way down the sloping treeline into the yard. She began to run, but she wasn’t quick enough. I howled again, wrestling a knife out of my pocket. As I tumbled into her, the knife landed in the yard.  

“Kill me!” I yelled, hoping my words weren’t too garbled to understand. I gestured toward the knife with my bulging eyes.  My hands clawed at the ground, bringing me closer to her, and I recoiled briefly at the sight of my fingers. They had become elongated claws, pulsing and miserable. But my momentary shock didn't stop my hands from grabbing her head. I pinned her down.

She yelled wildly.

I hoped a parent would come and find us there in time, but I didn’t count on it. My body jerked as I attempted to keep myself from biting her. The creature urged me to follow through; a fresh wave of agony forced my muscles; My mouth stretched wide. The flesh on either side ripped as my jaws unhinged. I Let out another anguished howl. It kept me from biting her for the moment. 

As I stared into the little girl’s horrified face, I was able to draw in a deep breath. I put all my attention on that light that I knew I might soon lose. In my mind’s eye, I made the light shine brightly. I could feel my muscles relax, but not nearly enough. I focused on making it even brighter, hotter, until it engulfed both me and the creature. I felt as though I was on fire, but it was okay with me if the light killed me, as long as it took the creature as well.  

And I couldn't say what happened in those final moments, because I lost all sense of myself.

****** 

I woke up four days later at the Franklin Medical Center two towns over. Most of my body was bandaged and I could barely open my mouth to speak. I sat for quite some time, looking at the various instruments and postings on the walls before one of the nurses realized I had awakened. She let out a quick, oh, before jumping out of her and seat rushing off into the hall.  

A minute later she came back, accompanied by Officer Tatum. As I recalled my last memories, my eyes began to burn. My voice cracked. “The little girl?”  

Officer Tatum took off his hat. “Besides bein’ spooked to death, you mean? She’ll be seeing someone about her nightmares, but she’s gonna be okay.”  

My lungs pressed painfully against my ribcage as I breathed a huge sigh of relief. “You know I didn’t mean to hurt her,” I began. But I had no idea how to even begin to explain what had happened. “That wasn’t even...” 

“I reckon you were confused,” offered Officer Tatum. “Being so deep in them woods that late at night can really get you turned around. I’m sure I didn’t help by putting all them scary stories at the front of your mind.” 

“Yes, I was confused,” I said, but I wanted him to know the truth. “I was attacked by something... something bad.”  

“We could see that when we found you,” he said, pulling out a notepad and pen. “You were convulsing for quite some time before the ambulance got there. They assumed you were got by the coyotes. Is that what it was?” 

I looked down at my broken body. I labored to bend my elbow, pressing a hand to my swollen jaw. “Yes,” I said. “It was a pack of coyotes.” I sniffed painfully. “I was fighting for my life.”

It would be another two weeks before I was released from the hospital. I returned to the property just long enough to collect my car. Then I drove back home to Texas without so much as looking over my shoulder. As for the property, I never sold it, and I vowed to never try to again. It’ll remain mine, though I’ll never, ever return there.  

I still wrestle with my own feelings of guilt and shame over the whole matter, but the night terrors have all but subsided. And the longer I go on living my life, meeting new people and having new experiences, the more I grow to realize - there’s a light inside of me. Darkness envies it, but it’s all mine. And I can shine that light on even the darkest of moments. And that’s a treasure worth way more than a million dollars.  

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